after reaching a boiling point with paulette, i think we have safely come up with a pretty good solution. as mentioned earlier, the girls came home from atlanta begrudgingly. they wanted to stay desperately. of course! DC represented school, chores, and lots of bad memories. we expected a difficult reentry. they both we cranky for the first few days. but paulette just never snapped out of it. she made it clear that she didn't like living with us or even like us. she felt she had "no childhood" here. we were beside ourselves trying to figure out what to do.
our friends mcaurthur and cheryl came to the rescue. they both invited paulette to stay with them for a couple of weeks. we talked to paulette and let her know that we love her and hope that she willat some point (soon) choose to stay with us, but that she could choose what she thought was best for her. so for now she is staying with mcaurthur. she will be there until next monday. if she still doesn't want to come back then, she will go to cheryl's. if she still doesn't want to come back, i don't know what we will do. hopefully a solution will present itself.
it feels really good to let her make and live her decisions. i think we were trying to hard to fix all that was broken, and paulette really didn't want some of it fixed and probably doesn't see it as broken. it feels good for the onus to be on paulette to make the changes she wants. to not try and help her more than she wants help. and to set her free. i hope that this is what she needs and that it will help her to feel better.