Friday, December 29, 2006
we also have to figure out where she is going to go. we know that she cannot come back to our house. even at anasazi, she requires intense supervision: something we cannot provide. there is a family who is thinking, fasting, and praying about taking paulette. some members feel really good. others are, and rightly so, worried that it will really change the family. undoubtedly, it will. so we are waiting and hoping that they will feel inclined to take her. if they do, we will work at figuring out a way to have her admitted to the westridge academy. this would provide paulette the extensive help that she needs to over come her reactive attachment disorder. it would also provide the family and paulette time to bond and start a relationship. just moving from anasazi to essentially a strangers house seems like it could be setting people up for failure. so we are hoping. we will be talking with the stake president soon to see if the Church can again pay for this expensive theraputic intervention. we are also talking to westridge to see if there are any discounts for people who are destitute. we may have to have a bake sale. but i am pretty sure that if there is real potential for paulette to be healed, there will be a path paved for us to get her what she needs.
unfortunately, if such a path is not paved, we will have to place her in foster care. we are working with lawyers in arizona to figure out if there is a way for her to become part of the arizona foster care system...i have a bike ride to get on. more later
Thursday, December 21, 2006
merry christmas paulette!!!
we hope you have a wonderful time and the oranges have made it to you safely. if they have, you are more lucky than we are. those are the best oranges in all of the world. they come from the tree in the allred's back yard. whenever i go home, i bring some back with me. we hope you love them.
we have attached a special christmas story for you. we want you to know that we love you. we are working hard to figure out a place you can call home. we really hope that this year you are able to find yourself living in a permanent place, with people that love you and will love you forever. we pray daily for this. if we could give you anything, that is what we would give you. no matter what, we want you to know that we will always love you. we will be your fRamily forever.
with loads of love,
kimberly and lindsay
The Three Levels of Christmas
Isn't Christmas a wonderful time of the year? We love the excitement, the giving spirit, the special awareness of and appreciation for family and friends, and the universal feelings of love and brotherhood that bless our gatherings at Christmastime.
In all the joyfulness, it is well to reflect that Christmas comes at threes levels. Let us call the first the Santa Claus Level. It's the packages, candle-lights, rich food and warm open houses. It's carolers in the shopping malls, excited children, and weary but loving parents. It's a lovely time of special warmth and caring and giving. It's the level at which we eat too much, spend too much and do too much – and we love and enjoy every minute of it.
But there's a higher, more beautiful level. Let's call it the Silent Night Level. It's the level of our glorious Christmas carols and of that beloved, familiar story: "Now in those days there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus…." It is the level of the crowed inn and the silent, holy moment in a dark stable when the Son of God came to earth. Its shepherds on steep, bare hills near Bethlehem, angels with their glad tidings a new star in the East, wise men traveling far in search of the Holy One. How beautiful and meaningful it is; how infinitely poorer we would be without this sacred second level of Christmas.
The trouble is, these two levels don't last. They can't. Twelve days of Christmas, at the first level, is about all most of us can stand. It's too intense, too extravagant. The tree dries out and the needles fall. The candles burn down. The beautiful wrappings go out with the trash, the carolers are up on the ski slopes, the toys break, and the biggest day in the stores the entire year is exchange day, December 26. The feast is over and the dieting begins. But the lonely and the hungry are with us still, perhaps lonelier and hungrier than before.
Even the second level of the Baby Jesus, can't last. How many times can you sing "Silent Night"? The angels and the star and the shepherd, even the silent, sacred mystery of that Holy Night itself, can't only satisfy humanity's basic need. The man who keeps Christ in the manager will, in the end, be disappointed and empty.
No, for Christmas to last all year long, for it to grow in beauty and meaning and purpose, for it to have the power to change lives, we must celebrate it at a third level. That of the adult Christ. It is at this level – not as an infant – that our Savior brings His gifts of lasting joy, lasting peace, lasting hope. It was the adult Christ who reached out and touched the untouchable, who loved the unlovable, who so loves us all that even in His agony on the cross He prayed forgiveness for His enemies.
This is the Christ who created worlds without numbers, who wept because so many of us lack affection and hate each other -- and then who willingly gave His life for all of us, including those for whom He wept. This the Christ, the adult Christ, who gave us the perfect example and asked us to follow Him.
Accepting that invitation is the way – the only way – to celebrate Christmas all year and all life long.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Dear kimberly and lyndsay
How are you? What are you guys up to? Sorry I didn't write to you last week. I just didn't know how to respond to what you guys said the whole myspace thing really made me mad because I don't even know what there talking about as far as the people you saw go. please Write to me about what you guys are doing for christmas.
well talk to you guys later
Sunday, December 10, 2006
The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed. Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
a: once a week she is given a ration of the following:
Butter - dehydrated
Cheese - dehydrated
Cornmeal - mix
Milk -- dehydrated
Tomatoes - sun dried
in our conversation with her therapist this week it sounded to us like paulette is being her true self on the trail. after previous conversations, lindsay and i worried that anasazi would never even know the paulette we know. from dale's description this week, it sounds like they are getting the same kid we get. it took a 2.5 weeks. we kinda expected that. hopefully in the next 6 weeks paulette will be able to experience some awakenings and be able to get better.
we also go the results from her psychologist. it was humbling. she is going to need so much help. it is weighty because it seems like if we can just find her a family she will be able to over come all this muck. she just needs love and stability. she will test that love completely. she has never be in a relationship where love was unconditional and she was safe. it will take a lot of love to help her trust that the love is not going anywhere. she will push you away as hard and as desperately as she needs you. any family willing to do this will have to be a very unique family. they would need amazing amounts of love, time for just her, and a sticktoitness that most just don't have. if we can find this, i honestly believe she can overcome most of this muck.
it weighs heavily because if we don't find this, the outcome is pretty sure. she will never learn to trust people. she won't learn empathy. her ability to objectify people will become more profound. she will tear through people begging them to come near her and pushing them away with full force. she won't be happy. she will live a life of a unlovable being. not that she is unlovable, but she will force her own belief that she is unlovable on the word in a self-fulfilling prophesy.
we honestly pray daily that we can find a family or that they can find us. we are also looking into other options for permanent placement, in case we don't find her a home. we like the idea of the westridge academy. our ideal situation is that we find a family that is willing to invest in paulette for the next 6 years. they come with us to anasazi to meet her and to learn about the anasazi way. when paulette completes anasazi, we place her in westridge. paulette and this new family have weekly family therapy sessions. lindsay and i are still involved to help paulete through her therapy, but the family is there to prepare for the future. then when paulette is well enough to live with a family she enters this family's home. they all will have had a year + of therapy to prep them. they would need to continue paulette in therapy, but would probably be able to have a pretty good time. that is our pipe dream right now.
there are so many problems with this pipe dream. primarily there is no family. then, westridge is expensive and i think we have drained our sources.
so we are looking at other options. boarding schools? foster care with lots of intervention from the psychologist and therapists?
if anyone should have any ideas, please contact us! we need some help. we feel like we have 6 weeks to get this figured out. with jennifer it felt like we watch God part the red sea. i really hope He will do that again here. i really hope that we can make decisions with surety.
here are some photos from paulette on the trail...
Friday, December 08, 2006
What It Takes To Make a Student
On the morning of Oct. 5, President Bush and his education secretary, Margaret Spellings, paid a visit, along with camera crews from CNN and Fox News, to Friendship-Woodridge Elementary and Middle Campus, a charter public school in Washington. The president dropped in on two classrooms, where he asked the students, almost all of whom were African-American and poor, if they were planning to go to college. Every hand went up. ''See, that's a good sign,'' the president told the students when they assembled later in the gym. ''Going to college is an important goal for the future of the United States of America.'' He singled out one student, a black eighth grader named Asia Goode, who came to Woodridge four years earlier reading ''well below grade level.'' But things had changed for Asia, according to the president. ''Her teachers stayed after school to tutor her, and she caught up,'' he said. ''Asia is now an honors student. She loves reading, and she sings in the school choir.''
Bush's Woodridge trip came in the middle of a tough midterm election campaign, and there was certainly some short-term political calculation in being photographed among smiling black faces. But this was more than a photo opportunity. The president had come to Woodridge to talk about the most ambitious piece of domestic legislation his administration had enacted after almost six years in office: No Child Left Behind. The controversial education law, which established a series of standards for schools and states to meet and a variety of penalties for falling short, is up for reauthorization next year in front of a potentially hostile Congress, and for the law to win approval again, the White House will have to convince Americans that it is working -- and also convince them of exactly what, in this case, ''working'' really means.
When the law took effect, at the beginning of 2002, official Washington was preoccupied with foreign affairs, and many people in government, and many outside it too, including the educators most affected by the legislation, seemed slow to take notice of its most revolutionary provision: a pledge to eliminate, in just 12 years, the achievement gap between black and white students, and the one between poor and middle-class students. By 2014, the president vowed, African-American, Hispanic and poor children, all of whom were at the time scoring well below their white counterparts and those in the middle class on standardized tests, would not only catch up with the rest of the nation; they would also reach 100 percent proficiency in both math and reading. It was a startling commitment, and it made the promise in the law's title a literal one: the federal government would not allow a single American child to be educated to less than that high standard.
It was this element of the law that the president had come to Woodridge to talk about. ''There's an achievement gap in America that's not good for the future of this country,'' he told the crowd. ''Some kids can read at grade level, and some can't. And that's unsatisfactory.''
But there was good news, the president concluded: ''I'm proud to report the achievement gap between white kids and minority students is closing, for the good of the United States.''
This contention -- that the achievement gap is on its way to the dustbin of history -- is one that Bush and Spellings have expressed frequently in the past year. And the gap better be closing: the law is coming up on its fifth anniversary. In just seven more years, if the promise of No Child Left Behind is going to be kept, the performances of white and black students have to be indistinguishable.
But despite the glowing reports from the White House and the Education Department, the most recent iteration of the National Assessment of Educational Progress, the test of fourth- and eighth-grade students commonly referred to as the nation's report card, is not reassuring. In 2002, when No Child Left Behind went into effect, 13 percent of the nation's black eighth-grade students were ''proficient'' in reading, the assessment's standard measure of grade-level competence. By 2005 (the latest data), that number had dropped to 12 percent. (Reading proficiency among white eighth-grade students dropped to 39 percent, from 41 percent.) The gap between economic classes isn't disappearing, either: in 2002, 17 percent of poor eighth-grade students (measured by eligibility for free or reduced-price school lunches) were proficient in reading; in 2005, that number fell to 15 percent.
The most promising indications in the national test could be found in the fourth-grade math results, in which the percentage of poor students at the proficient level jumped to 19 percent in 2005, from 8 percent in 2000; for black students, the number jumped to 13 percent, from 5 percent. This was a significant increase, but it was still far short of the proficiency figure for white students, which rose to 47 percent in 2005, and it was a long way from 100 percent.
In the first few years of this decade, two parallel debates about the achievement gap have emerged. The first is about causes; the second is about cures. The first has been taking place in academia, among economists and anthropologists and sociologists who are trying to figure out exactly where the gap comes from, why it exists and why it persists. The second is happening among and around a loose coalition of schools, all of them quite new, all established with the goal of wiping out the achievement gap altogether.
The two debates seem barely to overlap -- the principals don't pay much attention to the research papers being published in scholarly journals, and the academics have yet to study closely what is going on in these schools. Examined together, though, they provide a complete and nuanced picture, sometimes disheartening, sometimes hopeful, of what the president and his education officials are up against as they strive to keep the promise they have made. The academics have demonstrated just how deeply pervasive and ingrained are the intellectual and academic disadvantages that poor and minority students must overcome to compete with their white and middle-class peers. The divisions between black and white and rich and poor begin almost at birth, and they are reinforced every day of a child's life. And yet the schools provide evidence that the president is, in his most basic understanding of the problem, entirely right: the achievement gap can be overcome, in a convincing way, for large numbers of poor and minority students, not in generations but in years. What he and others seem not to have apprehended quite yet is the magnitude of the effort that will be required for that change to take place.
But the evidence is becoming difficult to ignore: when educators do succeed at educating poor minority students up to national standards of proficiency, they invariably use methods that are radically different and more intensive than those employed in most American public schools. So as the No Child Left Behind law comes up for reauthorization next year, Americans are facing an increasingly stark choice: is the nation really committed to guaranteeing that all of the country's students will succeed to the same high level? And if so, how hard are we willing to work, and what resources are we willing to commit, to achieve that goal?
In the years after World War II, and especially after the civil rights reforms of the 1960s, black Americans' standardized-test scores improved steadily and significantly, compared with those of whites. But at some point in the late 1980s, after decades of progress, the narrowing of the gap stalled, and between 1988 and 1994 black reading scores actually fell by a sizable amount on the national assessment. What had appeared to be an inexorable advance toward equality had run out of steam, and African-American schoolchildren seemed to be stuck well behind their white peers.
The issue was complicated by the fact that there are really two overlapping test-score gaps: the one between black children and white children, and the one between poor children and better-off children. Given that those categories tend to overlap -- black children are three times as likely to grow up in poverty as white children -- many people wondered whether focusing on race was in fact a useful approach. Why not just concentrate on correcting the academic disadvantages of poor people? Solve those, and the black-white gap will solve itself.
There had, in fact, been evidence for a long time that poor children fell behind rich and middle-class children early, and stayed behind. But researchers had been unable to isolate the reasons for the divergence. Did rich parents have better genes? Did they value education more? Was it that rich parents bought more books and educational toys for their children? Was it because they were more likely to stay married than poor parents? Or was it that rich children ate more nutritious food? Moved less often? Watched less TV? Got more sleep? Without being able to identify the important factors and eliminate the irrelevant ones, there was no way even to begin to find a strategy to shrink the gap.
Researchers began peering deep into American homes, studying up close the interactions between parents and children. The first scholars to emerge with a specific culprit in hand were Betty Hart and Todd R. Risley, child psychologists at the University of Kansas, who in 1995 published the results of an intensive research project on language acquisition. Ten years earlier, they recruited 42 families with newborn children in Kansas City, and for the following three years they visited each family once a month, recording absolutely everything that occurred between the child and the parent or parents. The researchers then transcribed each encounter and analyzed each child's language development and each parent's communication style. They found, first, that vocabulary growth differed sharply by class and that the gap between the classes opened early. By age 3, children whose parents were professionals had vocabularies of about 1,100 words, and children whose parents were on welfare had vocabularies of about 525 words. The children's I.Q.'s correlated closely to their vocabularies. The average I.Q. among the professional children was 117, and the welfare children had an average I.Q. of 79.
When Hart and Risley then addressed the question of just what caused those variations, the answer they arrived at was startling. By comparing the vocabulary scores with their observations of each child's home life, they were able to conclude that the size of each child's vocabulary correlated most closely to one simple factor: the number of words the parents spoke to the child. That varied greatly across the homes they visited, and again, it varied by class. In the professional homes, parents directed an average of 487 ''utterances'' -- anything from a one-word command to a full soliloquy -- to their children each hour. In welfare homes, the children heard 178 utterances per hour.
What's more, the kinds of words and statements that children heard varied by class. The most basic difference was in the number of ''discouragements'' a child heard -- prohibitions and words of disapproval -- compared with the number of encouragements, or words of praise and approval. By age 3, the average child of a professional heard about 500,000 encouragements and 80,000 discouragements. For the welfare children, the situation was reversed: they heard, on average, about 75,000 encouragements and 200,000 discouragements. Hart and Risley found that as the number of words a child heard increased, the complexity of that language increased as well. As conversation moved beyond simple instructions, it blossomed into discussions of the past and future, of feelings, of abstractions, of the way one thing causes another -- all of which stimulated intellectual development.
Hart and Risley showed that language exposure in early childhood correlated strongly with I.Q. and academic success later on in a child's life. Hearing fewer words, and a lot of prohibitions and discouragements, had a negative effect on I.Q.; hearing lots of words, and more affirmations and complex sentences, had a positive effect on I.Q. The professional parents were giving their children an advantage with every word they spoke, and the advantage just kept building up.
In the years since Hart and Risley published their findings, social scientists have examined other elements of the parent-child relationship, and while their methods have varied, their conclusions all point to big class differences in children's intellectual growth. Jeanne Brooks-Gunn, a professor at Teachers College, has overseen hundreds of interviews of parents and collected thousands of hours of videotape of parents and children, and she and her research team have graded each one on a variety of scales. Their conclusion: Children from more well-off homes tend to experience parental attitudes that are more sensitive, more encouraging, less intrusive and less detached -- all of which, they found, serves to increase I.Q. and school-readiness. They analyzed the data to see if there was something else going on in middle-class homes that could account for the advantage but found that while wealth does matter, child-rearing style matters more.
Martha Farah, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, has built on Brooks-Gunn's work, using the tools of neuroscience to calculate exactly which skills poorer children lack and which parental behaviors affect the development of those skills. She has found, for instance, that the ''parental nurturance'' that middle-class parents, on average, are more likely to provide stimulates the brain's medial temporal lobe, which in turn aids the development of memory skills.
Another researcher, an anthropologist named Annette Lareau, has investigated the same question from a cultural perspective. Over the course of several years, Lareau and her research assistants observed a variety of families from different class backgrounds, basically moving in to each home for three weeks of intensive scrutiny. Lareau found that the middle-class families she studied all followed a similar strategy, which she labeled concerted cultivation. The parents in these families engaged their children in conversations as equals, treating them like apprentice adults and encouraging them to ask questions, challenge assumptions and negotiate rules. They planned and scheduled countless activities to enhance their children's development -- piano lessons, soccer games, trips to the museum.
The working-class and poor families Lareau studied did things differently. In fact, they raised their children the way most parents, even middle-class parents, did a generation or two ago. They allowed their children much more freedom to fill in their afternoons and weekends as they chose -- playing outside with cousins, inventing games, riding bikes with friends -- but much less freedom to talk back, question authority or haggle over rules and consequences. Children were instructed to defer to adults and treat them with respect. This strategy Lareau named accomplishment of natural growth.
In her book ''Unequal Childhoods,'' published in 2003, Lareau described the costs and benefits of each approach and concluded that the natural-growth method had many advantages. Concerted cultivation, she wrote, ''places intense labor demands on busy parents. ... Middle-class children argue with their parents, complain about their parents' incompetence and disparage parents' decisions.'' Working-class and poor children, by contrast, ''learn how to be members of informal peer groups. They learn how to manage their own time. They learn how to strategize.'' But outside the family unit, Lareau wrote, the advantages of ''natural growth'' disappear. In public life, the qualities that middle-class children develop are consistently valued over the ones that poor and working-class children develop. Middle-class children become used to adults taking their concerns seriously, and so they grow up with a sense of entitlement, which gives them a confidence, in the classroom and elsewhere, that less-wealthy children lack. The cultural differences translate into a distinct advantage for middle-class children in school, on standardized achievement tests and, later in life, in the workplace.
Taken together, the conclusions of these researchers can be a little unsettling. Their work seems to reduce a child's upbringing, which to a parent can feel something like magic, to a simple algorithm: give a child X, and you get Y. Their work also suggests that the disadvantages that poverty imposes on children aren't primarily about material goods. True, every poor child would benefit from having more books in his home and more nutritious food to eat (and money certainly makes it easier to carry out a program of concerted cultivation). But the real advantages that middle-class children gain come from more elusive processes: the language that their parents use, the attitudes toward life that they convey. However you measure child-rearing, middle-class parents tend to do it differently than poor parents -- and the path they follow in turn tends to give their children an array of advantages. As Lareau points out, kids from poor families might be nicer, they might be happier, they might be more polite -- but in countless ways, the manner in which they are raised puts them at a disadvantage in the measures that count in contemporary American society.
What would it take to overcome these disadvantages? Does poverty itself need to be eradicated, or can its effects on children somehow be counteracted? Can the culture of child-rearing be changed in poor neighborhoods, and if so, is that a project that government or community organizations have the ability, or the right, to take on? Is it enough simply to educate poor children in the same way that middle-class children are educated? And can any school, on its own, really provide an education to poor minority students that would allow them to achieve the same results as middle-class students?
There is, in fact, evidence emerging that some schools are succeeding at the difficult task of educating poor minority students to high levels of achievement. But there is still great disagreement about just how many schools are pulling this off and what those successful schools mean for the rest of the American education system. One well-publicized evaluation of those questions has come from the Education Trust, a policy group in Washington that has issued a series of reports making the case that there are plenty of what they call ''high flying'' schools, which they define as high-poverty or high-minority schools whose students score in the top third of all schools in their state. The group's landmark report, published in December 2001, identified 1,320 ''high flying'' schools nationwide that were both high-poverty and high minority. This was a big number, and it had a powerful effect on the debate over the achievement gap. The pessimists -- those who believed that the disadvantages of poverty were all but impossible to overcome in public schools -- were dealt a serious blow. If the report's figures held up, it meant that high achievement for poor minority kids was not some one-in-a-million occurrence; it was happening all the time, all around us.
But in the years since the report's release, its conclusions have been challenged by scholars and analysts who have argued that the Education Trust made it too easy to be included on their list. To be counted as a high-flier, a school needed to receive a high score in only one subject in one grade in one year. If your school had a good fourth-grade reading score, it was on the list, even if all its other scores were mediocre. To many researchers, that was an unconvincing standard of academic success. Douglas Harris, a professor of education and economics at Florida State University, pored over Education Trust's data, trying to ascertain how many of the high-flying schools were able to register consistently good numbers. When he tightened the definition of success to include only schools that had high scores in two subjects in two different grades over two different years, Harris could find only 23 high-poverty, high-minority schools in the Education Trust's database, a long way down from 1,320.
That number isn't exhaustive; Harris says he has no doubt that there are some great schools that slipped through his data sieve. But his results still point to a very different story than the one the original report told. Education Trust officials intended their data to refute the idea that family background is the leading cause of student performance. But on closer examination, their data largely confirm that idea, demonstrating clearly that the best predictors of a school's achievement scores are the race and wealth of its student body. A public school that enrolls mostly well-off white kids has a 1 in 4 chance of earning consistently high test scores, Harris found; a school with mostly poor minority kids has a 1 in 300 chance.
Despite those long odds, the last decade -- and especially the last few years -- have seen the creation of dozens, even hundreds, of schools across the country dedicated to precisely that mission: delivering consistently high results with a population that generally achieves consistently low results. The schools that have taken on this mission most aggressively tend to be charter schools -- the publicly financed, privately run institutions that make up one of the most controversial educational experiments of our time. Because charters exist outside the control of public-school boards and are generally not required to adhere to union contracts with their teachers, they have attracted significant opposition, and their opponents are able to point to plenty of evidence that the charter project has failed. Early charter advocates claimed the schools would raise test scores across the board, and that hasn't happened; nationally, scores for charter-school students are the same as or lower than scores for public-school students. But by another measure, charter schools have succeeded: by allowing educators to experiment in ways that they generally can't inside public-school systems, they have led to the creation of a small but growing corps of schools with new and ambitious methods for educating students facing real academic challenges.
In the early years of the charter-school movement, every school was an island, trying out its own mad or brilliant educational theory. But as charter-school proponents have studied the successes and learned from the mistakes of their predecessors, patterns, even a consensus, have begun to emerge. The schools that are achieving the most impressive results with poor and minority students tend to follow three practices. First, they require many more hours of class time than a typical public school. The school day starts early, at 8 a.m. or before, and often continues until after 4 p.m. These schools offer additional tutoring after school as well as classes on Saturday mornings, and summer vacation usually lasts only about a month. The schools try to leaven those long hours with music classes, foreign languages, trips and sports, but they spend a whole lot of time going over the basics: reading and math.
Second, they treat classroom instruction and lesson planning as much as a science as an art. Explicit goals are set for each year, month and day of each class, and principals have considerable authority to redirect and even remove teachers who aren't meeting those goals. The schools' leaders believe in frequent testing, which, they say, lets them measure what is working and what isn't, and they use test results to make adjustments to the curriculum as they go. Teachers are trained and retrained, frequently observed and assessed by their principals and superintendents. There is an emphasis on results but also on ''team building'' and cooperation and creativity, and the schools seem, to an outsider at least, like genuinely rewarding places to work, despite the long hours. They tend to attract young, enthusiastic teachers, including many alumni of Teach for America, the program that recruits graduates from top universities to work for two years in inner-city public schools.
Third, they make a conscious effort to guide the behavior, and even the values, of their students by teaching what they call character. Using slogans, motivational posters, incentives, encouragements and punishments, the schools direct students in everything from the principles of teamwork and the importance of an optimistic outlook to the nuts and bolts of how to sit in class, where to direct their eyes when a teacher is talking and even how to nod appropriately.
The schools are, in the end, a counterintuitive combination of touchy-feely idealism and intense discipline. Their guiding philosophy is in many ways a reflection of the findings of scholars like Lareau and Hart and Risley -- like those academics, these school leaders see childhood as a series of inputs and outputs. When students enroll in one of these schools (usually in fifth or sixth grade), they are often two or more grade levels behind. Usually they have missed out on many of the millions of everyday intellectual and emotional stimuli that their better-off peers have been exposed to since birth. They are, educationally speaking, in deep trouble. The schools reject the notion that all that these struggling students need are high expectations; they do need those, of course, but they also need specific types and amounts of instruction, both in academics and attitude, to compensate for everything they did not receive in their first decade of life.
It is still too early in the history of this nascent movement to say which schools are going to turn out to be the most successful with this new approach to the education of poor children. But so far, the most influential schools are the ones run by KIPP, or the Knowledge Is Power Program. KIPP's founders, David Levin and Michael Feinberg, met in 1992, when they were young college graduates enrolled in Teach for America, working in inner-city public schools in Houston. They struggled at first as teachers but were determined to figure out how to motivate and educate their students. Each night they would compare notes on what worked in the classroom -- songs, games, chants, rewards -- and, before long, both of them became expert classroom instructors.
In the fall of 1994, Levin and Feinberg started a middle school in Houston, teaching just 50 students, and they named it KIPP. A year later, Levin moved to New York and started the second KIPP school, in the South Bronx. As the KIPP schools grew, Levin and Feinberg adhered to a few basic principles: their mission was to educate low-income and minority students. They would emphasize measurable results. And they would promise to do whatever it took to help their students succeed. They offered an extended day and an extended year that provided KIPP students with about 60 percent more time in school than most public-school students. They set clear and strict rules of conduct: their two principles of behavior were ''Work Hard'' and ''Be Nice,'' and all the other rules flowed out of those. At the beginning of each year, parents and students signed a pledge -- unenforceable but generally taken seriously -- committing to certain standards of hard work and behavior. Teachers gave students their cellphone numbers so students could call them at night for homework help.
The methods raised students' test scores, and the schools began to attract the attention of the media and of philanthropists. A ''60 Minutes'' report on the schools in 1999 led to a $15 million grant from Doris and Donald Fisher, the founders of the Gap, and Feinberg and Levin began gradually to expand KIPP into a national network. Two years ago, they received $8 million from the Gates Foundation to create up to eight KIPP high schools. There are now 52 KIPP schools across the country, almost all middle schools, and together they are educating 12,000 children. The network is run on a franchise model; each school's principal has considerable autonomy, while quality control is exercised from the home office in San Francisco. Feinberg is the superintendent of KIPP's eight schools in Houston, and Levin is the superintendent of the four New York City schools.
KIPP is part of a loose coalition with two other networks of charter schools based in and around New York City. One is Achievement First, which grew out of the success of Amistad Academy, a charter school in New Haven that was founded in 1999. Achievement First now runs six schools in New Haven and Brooklyn. The other network is Uncommon Schools, which was started by a founder of North Star Academy in Newark along with principals from three acclaimed charter schools in Massachusetts; it now includes seven schools in Rochester, Newark and Brooklyn. The connections among the three networks are mostly informal, based on the friendships that bind Levin to Norman Atkins, the former journalist who founded North Star, and to Dacia Toll, the Rhodes scholar and Yale Law graduate who started Amistad with Doug McCurry, a former teacher. Toll and Atkins visited Levin at the Bronx KIPP Academy when they were setting up their original schools and studied the methods he was using; they later sent their principals to the leadership academy that Levin and Feinberg opened in 2000, and they have continued to model many of their practices on KIPP's. Now the schools are beginning to formalize their ties. As they each expand their charters to include high schools, Levin, Toll and Atkins are working on a plan to bring students from all three networks together under one roof.
Students at both KIPP and Achievement First schools follow a system for classroom behavior invented by Levin and Feinberg called Slant, which instructs them to sit up, listen, ask questions, nod and track the speaker with their eyes. When I visited KIPP Academy last month, I was standing with Levin at the front of a music class of about 60 students, listening to him talk, when he suddenly interrupted himself and pointed at me. ''Do you notice what he's doing right now?'' he asked the class.
They all called out at once, ''Nodding!''
Levin's contention is that Americans of a certain background learn these methods for taking in information early on and employ them instinctively. KIPP students, he says, need to be taught the methods explicitly. And so it is a little unnerving to stand at the front of a KIPP class; every eye is on you. When a student speaks, every head swivels to watch her. To anyone raised in the principles of progressive education, the uniformity and discipline in KIPP classrooms can be off-putting. But the kids I spoke to said they use the Slant method not because they fear they will be punished otherwise but because it works: it helps them to learn. (They may also like the feeling of having their classmates' undivided attention when they ask or answer a question.) When Levin asked the music class to demonstrate the opposite of Slanting -- ''Give us the normal school look,'' he said -- the students, in unison, all started goofing off, staring into space and slouching. Middle-class Americans know intuitively that ''good behavior'' is mostly a game with established rules; the KIPP students seemed to be experiencing the pleasure of being let in on a joke.
Still, Levin says that the innovations a visitor to a KIPP school might notice first -- the Slanting and the walls festooned with slogans and mottos (''Team Always Beats Individual,'' ''All of Us Will Learn'') and the orderly rows of students walking in the hallways -- are not the only things contributing to the schools' success. Equally important, he says, are less visible practices: clear and coherent goals for each class; teachers who work 15 to 16 hours a day; careful lesson planning; and a decade's worth of techniques, tricks, games and chants designed to help vast amounts of information penetrate poorly educated brains very quickly.
Toll and Levin are influenced by the writings of a psychology professor from the University of Pennsylvania named Martin Seligman, the author of a series of books about positive psychology. Seligman, one of the first modern psychologists to study happiness, promotes a technique he calls learned optimism, and Toll and Levin consider it an essential part of the attitude they are trying to instill in their students. Last year, a graduate student of Seligman's named Angela Duckworth published with Seligman a research paper that demonstrated a guiding principle of these charter schools: in many situations, attitude is just as important as ability. Duckworth studied 164 eighth-grade students in Philadelphia, tracking each child's I.Q. as well as his or her score on a test that measured self-discipline and then correlating those two numbers with the student's G.P.A. Surprisingly, she found that the self-discipline scores were a more accurate predictor of G.P.A. than the I.Q. scores by a factor of two. Duckworth's paper connects with a new wave of research being done around the country showing that ''noncognitive'' abilities like self-control, adaptability, patience and openness -- the kinds of qualities that middle-class parents pass on to their children every day, in all kinds of subtle and indirect ways -- have a huge and measurable impact on a child's future success.
Levin considers Duckworth's work an indication of the practical side of the ''character'' education he and Toll and Atkins are engaged in: they want their students to be well behaved and hard-working and respectful because it's a good way to live but also because the evidence is clear that people who act that way get higher marks in school and better jobs after school. To Toll, a solid character is a basic building block of her students' education. ''I think we have to teach work ethic in the same way we have to teach adding fractions with unlike denominators,'' she told me. ''But once children have got the work ethic and the commitment to others and to education down, it's actually pretty easy to teach them. ''
The schools that Toll, Atkins, Levin and Feinberg run are not racially integrated. Most of the 70 or so schools that make up their three networks have only one or two white children enrolled, or none at all. Although as charter schools, their admission is open through a lottery to any student in the cities they serve, their clear purpose is to educate poor black and Hispanic children. The guiding principle for the four school leaders, all of whom are white, is an unexpected twist on the ''separate but equal'' standard: they assert that for these students, an ''equal'' education is not good enough. Students who enter middle school significantly behind grade level don't need the same good education that most American middle-class students receive; they need a better education, because they need to catch up. Toll, especially, is preoccupied with the achievement gap: her schools' stated mission is to close the gap entirely. ''The promise in America is that if you work hard, if you make good decisions, that you'll be able to be successful,'' Toll explained to me. ''And given the current state of public education in a lot of our communities, that promise is just not true. There's not a level playing field.'' In Toll's own career, in fact, the goal of achieving equality came first, and the tool of education came later. When she was at Yale Law School, her plan was to become a civil rights lawyer, but she concluded that she could have more of an impact on the nation's inequities by founding a charter school.
The methods these educators use seem to work: students at their schools consistently score well on statewide standardized tests. At North Star this year, 93 percent of eighth-grade students were proficient in language arts, compared with 83 percent of students in New Jersey as a whole; in math, 77 percent were proficient, compared with 71 percent of students in the state as a whole. At Amistad, proficiency scores for the sixth grade over the last few years range between the mid-30s and mid-40s, only a bit better than the averages for New Haven; by the eighth grade, they are in the 60s, 70s and 80s -- in every case exceeding Connecticut's average (itself one of the highest in the country). At KIPP's Bronx academy, the sixth, seventh and eighth grades had proficiency rates at least 12 percentage points above the state average on this year's statewide tests. And when the scores are compared with the scores of the specific high-poverty cities or neighborhoods where the schools are located -- in Newark, New Haven or the Bronx -- it isn't even close: 86 percent of eighth-grade students at KIPP Academy scored at grade level in math this year, compared with 16 percent of students in the South Bronx.
The leaders of this informal network are now wrestling with an unintended consequence of their schools' positive results and high profiles: their incoming students are sometimes too good. At some schools, students arrive scoring better than typical children in their neighborhoods, presumably because the school's reputation is attracting more-engaged parents with better-prepared kids to its admission lottery. Even though almost every student at the KIPP Academy in the Bronx, for example, is from a low-income family, and all but a few are either black or Hispanic, and most enter below grade level, they are still a step above other kids in the neighborhood; on their math tests in the fourth grade (the year before they arrived at KIPP), KIPP students in the Bronx scored well above the average for the district, and on their fourth-grade reading tests they often scored above the average for the entire city.
At most schools, well-prepared incoming students would be seen as good news. But at these charter schools, they can be a mixed blessing. Although the schools have demonstrated an impressive and consistent ability to turn below-average poor minority students into above-average students, another part of their mission is to show that even the most academically challenged students can succeed using their methods. But if not enough of those students are attending their schools, it's hard to make that point. North Star's leaders say this problem doesn't apply to them: the school's fifth-grade students come in with scores that are no higher than the Newark average. At KIPP, Levin and other officials I talked to say that their schools do what they can to recruit applicants who are representative of the neighborhoods they serve, but they also say that once a class is chosen (and at all the charter schools, it is chosen by random lottery), their job is to educate those children to the best of their ability. Dacia Toll is more focused on the issue; she says that she and her principals make a special effort to recruit students from particularly blighted neighborhoods and housing projects in New Haven and Brooklyn and told me that it would ''absolutely be a cause for concern'' if Amistad seemed to be attracting students who were better-prepared than average.
The most persistent critic of KIPP's record has been Richard Rothstein, a former education columnist for The New York Times who is now a lecturer at Teachers College. He has asserted that KIPP's model cannot be replicated on a wide scale and argues that the elevated incoming scores at the Bronx school make it mostly irrelevant to the national debate over the achievement gap. Although Rothstein acknowledges that KIPP's students are chosen by lottery, he contends in his book ''Class and Schools'' that they are ''not typical lower-class students.'' The very fact that their parents would bother to enroll them in the lottery sets them apart from other inner-city children, he says, adding that there is ''no evidence'' that KIPP's strategy ''would be as successful for students whose parents are not motivated to choose such a school.''
In some ways, the debate seems a trivial one -- KIPP is clearly doing a great job of educating its students; do the incoming scores at a single school really matter? But in fact, KIPP, along with Uncommon Schools and Achievement First, is now at the center of a heated political debate over just how much schools can accomplish, and that has brought with it a new level of public scrutiny. Beginning in the late 1990s, KIPP, Amistad and North Star were embraced by advocates from the right who believed in the whole menu of conservative positions on education: school choice, vouchers, merit pay for teachers. In 2001, the Heritage Foundation profiled the KIPP schools in a book called ''No Excuses: Lessons From 21 High-Performing, High-Poverty Schools,'' which set out to disprove ''the perennial claims of the education establishment that poor children are uneducable.'' Two years later, Abigail and Stephan Thernstrom, the well-known conservative writers about race, borrowed the Heritage Foundation's title (which was itself borrowed from a slogan popular at KIPP and other schools) for their own book on education, ''No Excuses: Closing the Racial Gap in Learning''; the book used the success of Amistad, North Star and, especially, KIPP to highlight the failings of the public-school system in serving poor children. If KIPP can successfully educate these kids, the Thernstroms asked, why can't every school?
The Thernstroms argue that if we can just fix the schools where poor children are educated, it will become much easier to solve all the other problems of poverty. The opposing argument, which Rothstein and others have made, is that the problems of poor minority kids are simply too great to be overcome by any school, no matter how effective. He points to the work of Hart and Risley and Lareau and argues that the achievement gap can be significantly diminished only by correcting, or at least addressing, the deep inequities that divide the races and the classes.
Levin and Toll sometimes seem surprised by the political company they are now keeping -- and by the opponents they have attracted. ''I'm a total liberal!'' Toll said, a little defensively, when I asked her recently about this political divide. Many charter advocates claim that the views of Democratic politicians on charter schools are clouded by the fact that they depend for both money and votes on the nation's teachers' unions, which are skeptical of charter schools and in some states have taken steps to block them from expanding. In Connecticut, the state teachers' union this year lobbied against a legislative change to allow for the expansion of Amistad Academy (it later passed), and the union's lawyers filed a Freedom of Information Act request that required Amistad to turn over all of its employment and pay records. The union's chief lobbyist told reporters in April that the state's charter law was intended only ''to create incubators of innovation. It was never to create a charter-school system.'' Amistad was acceptable as a small experiment, in other words, but there was no reason to let it grow.
Even if schools like KIPP are allowed to expand to meet the demand in the educational marketplace -- all of them have long waiting lists -- it is hard to imagine that, alone, they will be able to make much of a dent in the problem of the achievement gap; there are, after all, millions of poor and minority public-school students who aren't getting the education they need either at home or in the classroom. What these charter schools demonstrate, though, is the effort that would be required to provide those students with that education.
Toll put it this way: ''We want to change the conversation from 'You can't educate these kids' to 'You can only educate these kids if. ...' '' And to a great extent, she and the other principals have done so. The message inherent in the success of their schools is that if poor students are going to catch up, they will require not the same education that middle-class children receive but one that is considerably better; they need more time in class than middle-class students, better-trained teachers and a curriculum that prepares them psychologically and emotionally, as well as intellectually, for the challenges ahead of them.
Right now, of course, they are not getting more than middle-class students; they are getting less. For instance, nationwide, the best and most experienced teachers are allowed to choose where they teach. And since most state contracts offer teachers no bonus or incentive for teaching in a school with a high population of needy children, the best teachers tend to go where they are needed the least. A study that the Education Trust issued in June used data from Illinois to demonstrate the point. Illinois measures the quality of its teachers and divides their scores into four quartiles, and those numbers show glaring racial inequities. In majority-white schools, bad teachers are rare: just 11 percent of the teachers are in the lowest quartile. But in schools with practically no white students, 88 percent of the teachers are in the worst quartile. The same disturbing pattern holds true in terms of poverty. At schools where more than 90 percent of the students are poor -- where excellent teachers are needed the most -- just 1 percent of teachers are in the highest quartile.
Government spending on education does not tend to compensate for these inequities; in fact, it often makes them worse. Goodwin Liu, a law professor at the University of California at Berkeley, has compiled persuasive evidence for what he calls the country's ''education apartheid.'' In states with more poor children, spending per pupil is lower. In Mississippi, for instance, it is $5,391 a year; in Connecticut, it is $9,588. Most education financing comes from state and local governments, but the federal supplement for poor children, Title 1, is ''regressive,'' Liu points out, because it is tied to the amount each state spends. So the federal government gives Arkansas $964 to help educate each poor child in the state, and it gives Massachusetts $2,048 for each poor child there.
Without making a much more serious commitment to the education of poor and minority students, it is hard to see how the federal government will be able to deliver on the promise contained in No Child Left Behind. The law made states responsible for turning their poorest children into accomplished scholars in a little more than a decade -- a national undertaking on the order of a moon landing -- but provided them with little assistance or even direction as to how they might accomplish that goal. And recently, many advocates have begun to argue that the Education Department has quietly given up on No Child Left Behind.
The most malignant element of the original law was that it required all states to achieve proficiency but then allowed each state to define proficiency for itself. It took state governments a couple of years to realize just what that meant, but now they have caught on -- and many of them are engaged in an ignoble competition to see which state can demand the least of its students. At the head of this pack right now is Mississippi, which has declared 89 percent of its fourth-grade students to be proficient readers, the highest percentage in the nation, while in fact, the National Assessment of Educational Progress shows that only 18 percent of Mississippi fourth graders know how to read at an appropriate level -- the second-lowest score of any state. In the past year, Arizona, Maryland, Ohio, North Dakota and Idaho all followed Mississippi's lead and slashed their standards in order to allow themselves to label uneducated students educated. The federal government has permitted these maneuvers, and after several years of tough talk about enforcing the law's standards, the Education Department has in the past year begun cutting one deal after another with states that want to redefine ''success'' for their schools. (When I spoke to Spellings this month, she said she would ''appeal to the better angels of governors and state policy makers'' to keep their standards in line with national benchmarks.)
The absence of any robust federal effort to improve high-poverty schools undercuts and distorts the debate over the responsibility for their problems. It is true, as the Thernstroms write in their book, that ''dysfunctional families and poverty are no excuse for widespread, chronic educational failure.'' But while those factors are not an excuse, they're certainly an explanation; as researchers like Lareau and Brooks-Gunn have made clear, poverty and dysfunction are enormous disadvantages for any child to overcome. When Levin and Feinberg began using the slogan ''No Excuses'' in the mid-1990s, they intended it to motivate their students and teachers, to remind them that within the context of a KIPP school, there would always be a way to achieve success. But when the conservative education movement adopted ''No Excuses'' as a slogan, the phrase was used much more broadly: if that rural Arkansas public school isn't achieving the success of a KIPP school, those responsible for its underachievement must simply be making excuses. The slogan came to suggest that what is going wrong in the schools is simply some sort of failure of will -- that teachers don't want to work hard, or don't believe in their students, or are succumbing to what the president calls ''the soft bigotry of low expectations'' -- while the reality is that even the best, most motivated educator, given just six hours a day and 10 months a year and nothing more than the typical resources provided to a public-school teacher, would find it near impossible to educate an average classroom of poor minority students up to the level of their middle-class peers.
The evidence is now overwhelming that if you take an average low-income child and put him into an average American public school, he will almost certainly come out poorly educated. What the small but growing number of successful schools demonstrate is that the public-school system accomplishes that result because we have built it that way. We could also decide to create a different system, one that educates most (if not all) poor minority students to high levels of achievement. It is not yet entirely clear what that system might look like -- it might include not only KIPP-like structures and practices but also high-quality early-childhood education, as well as incentives to bring the best teachers to the worst schools -- but what is clear is that it is within reach.
Although the failure of No Child Left Behind now seems more likely than not, it is not too late for it to succeed. We know now, in a way that we did not when the law was passed, what it would take to make it work. And if the law does, in the end, fail -- if in 2014 only 20 or 30 or 40 percent of the country's poor and minority students are proficient, then we will need to accept that its failure was not an accident and was not inevitable, but was the outcome we chose.
Paul Tough is an editor at the magazine. He is writing a book about the Harlem Children's Zone, a community organization.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
this is an email from her therapist:
Hello Kimberly & Lindsay,
I had pretty decent visit with Paulette. She was slow to warm up to say the least, but by having other female staff with me seemed to loosen her tongue at least to surface details. While I was sitting by the fire talking to Paulette and another YoungWalker, the other stated that "if you don't talk you can get extended." I think Paulette may have already known that, but her eyes got big and she asked if that were true. It was interesting how her demeanor seemed to change and she was not so bubbly. I do not believe she wrote a letter this week, despite my encouragement.
She said maybe "tomorrow," and she had stated that yesterday. It is possible to send out a letter with the families coming off the trail, but who knows if she knew that or not. If a letter appears I will let you know.
I will call you both tomorrow at Noon EST.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Dear Kimberly and Lyndsay
everything at Anasazi has been a blast! the hiking the food (everything has been great except for the lentils.) i think lentils are the most nastiest thing i have ever yet to taste. i am sorry i haven't been writting you i have been really busy lately. in the last letter you asked what wet dog was. Wet dog is simply a combo of Powedered milk, water, tang, baking soda and creamer. (creamer is powered butter and tang is sucgar but flavored.) Thats what wet dog is and the funny thing is it smells like a wet dog. there is also maple dog its the same thing you Just add brown sugar.
we can also make something called ashcakes there really good. yesterdcay i made biscuts and gravy it was really good. you make it by one haveing all the right things. you need flour. water. tang. brosn sugar [there are arrows from the tang and brown sugar pointing to -->] (optional)
chicken bullion bull-yon an an onion fist you mix 1/3 of a cup of flour and like two splashes of water. shril it up so it makes dough. you can add the tang or brown sugar if you want
then you form little circle patties adn put them in the ashes of you fire they don't bubble but, when they look brown you flip them. while those are cooking you make the crazy. you make gravey by putting 1/3 of a cup of water then you add like 4 pimches of flour mix it w/ bullion and let it boil then you take the askcakes or biscuts samething and dunk them well i think thats enough about food i'll tell you the rest next week. well like i said earlier everthing is great. i've realized that i loce being outdoors and i love hiking. i really miss you guys (incl being home in my bed. As soon as i get out of Anasazi I want you to take me to olive garden i hope you know you are supposed to take me out to dinner that thursday i really am enjoying Anasazi bit i can't wait to get out! i have one question how many week am i going to be at anasazi
well that all talk to you laterlove
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
we had a gathering a friends who happen to be foodies. we had an AMAZING thanksgiving with mindblowing food.
fresh organic brined turkey
home made rolls
green bean in tarragon
salad greens from the garden
it was yummy...
Saturday, November 25, 2006
- lg ziplock 3/4 full of lentils
- lg ziplock 3/4 full of macaroni
- lg ziplock 3/4 full of oats
- lg ziplock 3/4 full of brown rice
- small ziplock with 2 fingers worth of salt
- small ziplock with 2 fingers worth of baking soda (for brushing teeth or cooking
- powdered milk
over time she may earn the opportunity to have a knife, but right now she is not allowed to.
i talked to her "shadow" today. (shadow = therapist in the language of anasazi) she decided not to write us letters this week. we are totally disappointed. we learned that she did a good job rationing her food and even had a little left over. apparently this last week was not very physically demanding and so "she has no idea what is in store for her."
she has made friends with a 17-year-old who is near the end of her walk (means that she is nearly done with the program). this other young walker is teaching her how to cook her own food, ration, find water, make a nice bed, etc. she is apparently getting along with everyone. we are a bit worried that the experience will only hit her surface and won't sink all the way in. i hope we are wrong.
we have weekly conference calls with her shadow. each call is about an hour or so. this is a good time for us to work through our own issues and try to figure out how we can help her too. the stuff we are learning from anasazi digs really deep and makes you really think about how you react and why. the main premise of the concept is that as humans we find it often easier to live in self-betrayal than in honesty. we betray ourselves when we think or feel to behave kindly or selflessly but then decide not to. in order to justify our not behaving well be find ways to blame the other person for our bad behaviour.
the example they use is:
the baby wakes up in the middle of the night screaming and you are woken up. you notice your spouse is fast asleep. you feel like you should go get the baby and comfort her but instead you decide to fake sleep and wait for your spouse. as you wait you start to feel guilty. instead of letting that guilt motivate you to get out of bed and help the baby, you start thinking ill thoughts of your spouse. "oh he is probably just feigning sleep. he never gets up with her and i always have to. and plus i am always the one that feeds her and does he even understand how many loads of laundry i do in a day. he never even says anything..." and then we betray ourselves. you are not really made at our husband for not getting up and all these other things, you are mad at yourself.
there are a number of really good books written about this. and if you feel inclined i HIGHLY recommend them.
leadership and self-deception
bonds that make us free
the anatomy of peace
lindsay and i both wrote paulette letters this week that are delivered to her on tuesday, every tuesday. we are supposed to write explaining what we are learning and what we want to change in our relationship with her. it is tricky. we also wrote a letter to her shadow all about the best things about paulette and what we hope she will become etc. it was pretty cool to do. but man, this self-exploration is exhausting.
i think we are in a real catharsis moment. lindsay and i spent the weekend cleaning. my room has never been cleaner or more organized. lindsay is a master organizer and we have just buzzed through the house cleaning and getting rid of junk. i think it is a way for us to take control back. we have thrown a ton of stuff out. catharsis is good. it is always really messy when you start but then it is SO much better than it was. i know it is the same emotionally. you just have to trust the processes and you have to let your self get messy and all messed up before you can get it all back together.
Monday, November 20, 2006
because this has been going through my mind i am perceverating about it raining while paulette is out there. i just spent some time combing the web for some predictions and found out that dec. and jan are the 2nd wettest months of the year (summer monsoon - some of july, all of aug, some sept are the wettest).
Friday, November 17, 2006
saying goodbye to our bestest fRauntie D!
waiting anxiously to get on our plane
you can tell it is raining. but the ground stop hadn't gone into effect yet.
the real rain was yet to come.
after about 1.5 hours we had to run out on the tarmack
to catch our flight. we shared a huge umbrella
the wind and rain were too much. they soaked us all the way through.
after we arrived in cinncinati and realized we had made our flight
we remembered that we needed to fatten her up.
the flight was pretty uneventful. lindsay slept. i cleaned up my wallet.
i am not sure what paulette did. we weren't sitting by each other
i wish i could report a happy reunion but it was actually kinda ackward.
the moment jen saw paulette she ran and skipped to her as fast as she could
paulette just stood there with her arms folded and hip out.
jen hugged lindsay first, then me, then paulette.
it was hard to watch. their relationship will definately need some healing time
it was tough to get a photo of the 2 of them at first.
eventually they started warming up
speak no evil
our luggage didn't come so we had some running around to do
the girls left with bobbi and mark to find ice cream
then they all came back to bekki and tyler's (where we are staying)
and we got to hang out for a bit.
lindsay and i were exhausted. i am sure we were not the best company.
as we drove to anasazi in rush hour traffic paulette kept saying: it is so peaceful here.
we had been filling her full of water to make her be able to weigh-in. we were mistaken because she didn't see the nurse for a couple of hours. poor thing. at least she started the trail hydrated.
we pulled up and a woman, natalie about 23 yrs-old, was standing there.
she said "are you kimberly or lindsay"
i am kimberly
"hi, kimberly. and you must be lindsay: hello"
opening the car door: "you must be paulette"
we step out of the car and natalie says
"take as much time here as you need. say your good-byes and any final words.
as soon as you are done, paulette will go up these stairs and get ready for the trail.
you will go in that door and finialize her admission."
last minute hydration
the last licorice mint tea she will have for a long long time
we had a pretty ackward, lecturey type good-bye.
Kimberly just posted about all the near misses we've had on our trip to Arizona. Though we finally made it, we're not entirely out of the woods. The last requirement: weight.
In order to participate in Anasazi's program, Paulette needs to be at least 5 feet tall (check--she's 5'1''), and weigh at least 100 pounds. (She's going to carry a 35-pound pack on her back for 8 weeks). Over the last two weeks, we've weighed her at least three times, and found her weight fluctuating between 90 and 95. We rounded up on the application.
In a desperate effort to get her to gain the needed pounds, Kimberly and I have been on a mission to force-feed this girl as many empty calories as we can. It's been a little tricky since she hasn't been staying at our house over the last week, and, therefore, we can't control her diet. We have, however, given it the old Cougar try:
- Monday. Haagen Dazs (sp?) ice cream + hazelnut white chocolate bar + Five Guys hamburger (two patties) and fries + two scoops Ben & Jerry's Cookies and Cream ice cream in a sugar cone. That was all after lunch, and before dinner. We sent her home with Chubby Hubby Ben and Jerry's with the command to eat it all so we could give her another pint.
- Tuesday. Clif Bar + Protein Builder's Bar + Luna Bar. In addition to three full meals, of course.
- Wednesday. Clif Bar + Protein Builder's Bar. Meals counted separate.
- Thursday. Tuna Sandwich loaded with Mayo + Cream Cheese and Crackers + Pasta dripping in Olive Oil sauce + salad drenched in dressing + Whole Milk Steamer with Toffee flavor + Soda (3) + McFlurry. I regret that we never gave her a Cinnabon, the obvious choice. Too stressful.
- Friday (today). We have only one meal to work with, since we take her at 8:30 am. Oatmeal + Water. And lots of it.
yesterday at 5:30pm we are asked to postpone our trip due to some administrative issues concerning the church paying for anasazi. lindsay and i both flipped out. at 9:30 last night we found that the following appeal worked to allow us to come now:
then, today we arrived at the airport with plenty of time. we were in good shape. lindsay and i were both upgraded on the long flight. paulette seemed okay. then, 10 minutes before we were to board our plane there was a total and indefinite ground stop due to torrential storms. our layover in cincinnati was to be 50 minutes long. it didn't take long, about 50 minutes, for us to realize that we had missed our connection. we were conflicted: do we fly through cincinnati or atlanta? as we were wrestling with the decision they boarded our plane. the connection we new we were missing was the last flight out of cincinnati. as the flow of travelers moved towards the plane we were swept up. once seated we realized we never really considered what we should do, but the doors were shut. i ask God to make the plane we were connecting on in cincinnati have a mechanical problem so it would still be there when we arrived and we could catch that plane to phoenix.
- Where is she going to stay. Her stay at the temporary group home ends tomorrow. Tonight is the last night she can stay there. It is not safe for her to be in our house as she has run away, been truant, (edited for paulette's privacy), while in our care. We are not able to provide for her the supervision that she needs.
- School. Paulette is on a 1-week school break beginning Monday through Friday (20-24 Novemeber) because of Thanksgiving. This means that she will have no place to go where she is supervised during the day.
- Thanksgiving. Kimberly and I have made plans for the holiday. We are emotionally drained, and need some time to recuperate and to spend time with family and friends to recharge our batteries. Delaying one week, would actually mean that we would need to travel on Thanskgiving day to enroll her the following day (they take admissions only on Fridays).
- Work/Jobs. This has been a huge drain on our jobs. We have missed over 80 hours of work in the past month. Since we have already alerted our employers about the necessary time off tomorrow and Friday, we fear that changing things now will only irk them further and may jeopordize Kimberly's employment.
40 minutes after our connection was due to depart we arrived. we walked out of terminal c onto the bus to terminal b, which left the moment we got on. once at terminal b, i ran like a bat out of somewhere to check on the status of our connection; the tv screen said it was boarding. the sign above the gate said that the flight to phoenix was leaving at 7:20 (it was supposed to have left at 4:40).
"does this mean i didn't miss my connection to phoenix?"
placidly, "sure does."
"WOW! that is awesome. can i ask why?"
"massive mechanical problems. the other plane was in no condition to fly. we are getting a plane from seattle to take yall to phoenix"
needless to say, i was kinda freaked out.
i had been really worried that paulette wouldn't see jen. that i wouldn't get to eat costa vida. and that i would not be able to keep my upgrade into first class. it all worked out, but not without some serious stress.
our bags didn't make it though.
the good thing is, we are here and anasazi starts tomorrow. i really really hope this works!
i will add pictures later, but all of my cords to get the photos off my camera are in my checked baggage which i should get tomorrow afternoon.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
paulette will be at anasazi for eight weeks. she takes absolutely nothing with her. they outfit her with basics. she will make her own backpack. live off the land. make fire without matches. have therapy regularly. and be out of DC and in nature. we are hopeful that this will allow her to deal with her baggage and start the process of recovery.
she is excited to go. i think she really does want help. she wants to be better. she wants to be happy. she really just can't figure out how to do it right now. and she is inundated with so many horrible influences that it is really difficult.
from the anasazi website :
The Young Walkers learn by themselves to trust, to grow and to challenge old thoughts and behavior. This is done in the most supportive, safe and unrelenting environment -- nature. Nature demands the best -- it cannot be manipulated, it continues in its scheduled course regardless of the behaviors of the youth. Nature simply requires compliance and wise decisions. The adolescent has no one to blame or challenge but her self.we feel like this is exactly what the doctor ordered.
she will write us one letter once a week and we reciprocate. she will have no other outside communication. we will post the letters on this blog. (we may edit out some information.) you are welcome to respond to her in the comments part of this blog. we plan to have her read all of the comments once she returns.
this saturday, lindsay and i will enjoy a 12 hour seminar on the philosophy of the program. much of the philosophy is captured in terry warner's bonds that make us free. lindsay and i have both read the book and found it really helpful. we recommend it! frankly, i think this seminar comes at a good time for us. we are both spent and in need of some perspective.
while she is at anasazi, lindsay and i will try to pick up the pieces of neglected work and a dissolved social life and get our bodies back in shape. we will also continue the search for paulette's family. hopefully the healing she will experience at anasazi will make her less intimidating to families and make us more comfortable allowing her to be added to a family.
this is not without its fall backs. one, it is really expensive. our Church has offered to pay for it out of the fast offering. in the mormon church, members are encouraged to fast whenever their faith needs special fortification and to fast regularly once each month on the first sunday of the month usually. when we fast we go without eating or drinking for two consecutive meals, pray more, and contribute a fast offering to help the poor. the offering is at least equal to the value of the food that would have been eaten. anasazi is a LOT of lunch time hotdogs. (think $20k)
if you are inclined to help paulette out financially, this might be a good time to do it. you can make a donation to our congregation and include a note that it is for paulette and it will go towards this treatment program. if you are so inclined, please feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will give you the mailing address and instructions. the good news is this will be tax deductible.
our plan for now is, in january, when she is done, lindsay and i will go back to arizona and spend 3 days with paulette "on the trail". if we all survive, we will spend a few more days in arizona. paulette will hang out with jennifer and we will do something for lindsay's 30th b-day. then paulette will return to our house. she will live with us for a few months while we observe her behaviour to ensure that sustainable change has occurred. hopefully by this time a family will present itself. if not, we will probably turn her over to the district foster care system. we have learned more about the system and learned that there are some really good placements for kids with issues like paulette's.
we are excited and a bit nervous. so much hinges on the next few weeks. it is all in paulette's control. the outcome of all of this will be based on paulette's decision making. it is a bit scary, i really hope this works!