Monday, July 24, 2006

some days are diamonds, some days are stone

the title of this post is so true. the problem is when you wake up, you don't know what you are going to get. or in this case sometimes, you don't know what you are going to get when you come home.

we have wonderful days where there is love and fun and peace. in fact recently i had to go to atlanta for work and i took the latest flight out possible because the girls were just so dang cute and fun. it was their first day back at school and they both were just glowing. everyone loved their hair and their new shoes. they looked better and each one of their teachers commented that they seems like new people. more confident, happier, etc.

then their are days like today, where everything is a struggle. i had to go to school today because paulette had been benched (kipp's form of in-house suspension). the rules at their school are really really strict and they expected to behave with respect and poise. it is a struggle at times. it has never been required of them except at church and now it is required everywhere.

they love the boundaries, i think it makes them feel safe, but then they resent them. so then they resent us.

also, they are feeling so much anger because of their situation. feeling abandoned, mistreated, abused, etc. and we are easy targets for all that negative stuff too. which in the end makes a day a stone.

stones are more common than diamonds. and such is life i suppose. but i hope that someday we are able to be in a space that is more like Oz with yellowbricks and diamond days.



Katie and Scotty said...

I WISH they could be benched at church! :)

Stephanie Renee said...

You already know the answer...sometimes the hurt can bring our inner ugliness crashing to the surface at the most inopportune moments and completely without warning. But unseemly lumps of coal CAN become diamonds with the right amount of loving pressure. You seem to have the jeweler's touch. Just keep breathing...and chiseling away all the rough stuff.